Perfect Is the Enemy of Good. So, Why Is It Still Such an Obstacle?

Hi. Welcome to Bloom Anywhere. I'm Gwen Moran, a writer, editor, author, and problem-solver. My goal is to share information, ideas, and resources to help you overcome obstacles, reach your goals, and find more joy in life, even when things are messy. Thanks for joining me. (If you got this from a friend, subscribe here.) I'd love your feedback and suggestions for future topics. Please send me an email at connect@bloomanywhere.com.

When I was in my 20s, I worked in Manhattan, first at a major publishing house, then at a fashion-related company. Most days, I overdressed for my job, showing up in dresses and suits at the publishing company and, later, sometimes in custom-made clothing the seamstresses at the fashion company made for me. If my feet could speak, they would tell you horrific tales of the shoes in which I trotted around Manhattan. Carrie Bradshaw had nothing on me except the amount she was willing to spend on a single pair. I took “dress for the job you want” to heart. I thought I had to show a polished, if not perfect, image to be taken seriously.

After several years, I started my own company. I still dressed the part. When I shifted to writing full-time and moved my office home, I eschewed the barefoot freelancer image, still dressing professionally in my home office, if a bit more comfortably. Some people say that the way you dress affects how you work. I used to think that was true. But no matter how I dressed, my expectations for myself and my work were high.

A Curveball I Didn't See Coming

Over the years, although I didn’t know it at the time, lipedema changed the shape of my body and affected my mobility. I began to avoid in-person meetings—at first because I was ashamed that my body had gotten bigger, despite my efforts to control it, and finding clothes that fit properly was a challenge. Then, navigating pain and mobility issues became harder. Fortunately, I work in a field where remote work is common.

Swimming regularly has improved my strength and endurance, and I’ve been better able to rejoin my life in ways I thought were behind me. I had wanted to go to this conference for years but was concerned that I would have a hard time navigating it. But I steeled my nerves and went.

The conference was spectacular. I watched a live interview with astronauts aboard the International Space Station. I saw the CEO of Starbucks talk about plans for the chain. I was met with hugs from people who were genuinely happy to see me. By the time I got home, my heart was full.

Back at It

This year, I’m here again. I’ve already had one spectacular lunch. I was humbled when I struggled a bit to get up from my chair, but I have learned to accept that I will have those issues from time to time. I was able to “walk off” some of the pain and continue with my planned activities for the day. Still, it takes some intestinal fortitude to show vulnerability like that to someone you respect and whose respect is important to you.

As someone who has conditions that affect my mobility and cause chronic pain, I also have additional logistical calculus necessary. Will I be able to walk the distances required? Will I be in too much pain to participate in some of the activities? Most of the time, the answers are “yes,” although sometimes they’re not. Sometimes, the fear of being unable to keep up—or not looking the part—is daunting enough to make me avoid some situations altogether.

But that fear is a thief. The people in my life—friends, family members, clients, and others—have been overwhelmingly understanding and supportive of me and the challenges I have faced. And while I may not move or dress the way I want to all the time, doing things imperfectly sure beats not doing them at all.

Letting Go of Perfectionism

Are you a perfectionist? Do you shy away from some things because of that voice in your head? Let’s talk about how to overcome it. I’d like to hear your strategies: connect@bloomanywhere.com.