The Messy Business of Mistakes

Hi. Welcome to Bloom Anywhere. I'm Gwen Moran, a writer, editor, author, and problem-solver. My goal is to share information, ideas, and resources to help you overcome obstacles, reach your goals, and find more joy in life, even when things are messy. Thanks for joining me. (If you got this from a friend, subscribe here.) I'd love your feedback and suggestions for future topics. Please send me an email: connect@bloomanywhere.com.

I want to start with an apology. Last week’s Bloom Anywhere went out with the wrong headline, carrying over the one from the week before. I overlooked changing it and didn’t spot it while editing the layout. I am sorry that happened. Such errors are jarring and interrupt the reading experience. The headline is corrected in the online version.

Mistakes are hard to stomach sometimes. When you’re a writer whose job is to deliver information to other people, the expectation—at least from reputable reporters—is nothing less than perfection. Of course, perfection is not possible. Mistakes happen because we’re human. Reputable outlets correct the record and move on.

Bouncing Back from a Blunder

For me, letting go of the mistake isn’t always easy. Maybe it was a solo error that I made because I was rushing, irritable, or tired. Or maybe it was that courageous typo that made its way past four other people who reviewed and proofed the document, and me. However it happened, I tend to take these matters to heart. My stomach knots, and I lose sleep. In some cases, a mistake triggers a bout of imposter syndrome.

I have learned, through both personal practice and my reporting, that there are ways to rein this in and use mistakes to get better. First, I trace how it happened. This is not to assign blame, but to determine whether there’s a process issue with the work. In cases where the mistake is personal in nature, it helps me understand the circumstances that led to making the choice that led to the mistake. This information provides context that can help in finding solutions.

Then, I own it. The last thing anyone wants to hear when they’re on the receiving end of a mistake is a litany of reasons why the person in charge wasn’t at fault. When I can, I provide context and apologize. I also think about what I can do to ensure it doesn’t happen again. A checklist. Making sure I’m in the right frame of mind before having a difficult conversation. Letting an email message draft sit for a while and looking at it with fresh eyes before hitting “send.” When appropriate, I share those steps or lessons with the person I’m apologizing to. Sometimes, that’s not appropriate, and I just keep them to myself. Sometimes, mistakes also require making amends or finding ways to ease the damage.

The Art of Letting Go

Then comes the hardest part: Once you’ve owned up to it, taken steps to prevent a recurrence, and learned the lessons, it’s time to let it go. No one wants to hear “I’m sorry” dozens of times. Excessive apologizing creates a situation in which the person injured by the mistake feels responsible for the one who made it, making a bad situation worse.

Letting go isn’t the same as making light of the mistake. But once it’s done, you’ve taken the lesson from it, living in guilt or rumination doesn’t do anyone any good. You’re burning energy that could be used for myriad other and better purposes.

But it would be a smart bet that I quadruple-checked the headline this week.

Have You Bounced Back from a Blunder?

Did you make a cringeworthy or otherwise painful mistake? How did you deal with it? Let me know your tactics for bouncing back. I’d love to share them in a future newsletter. My email address is connect@bloomanywhere.com.