Hi. Welcome to Bloom Anywhere. I'm Gwen Moran, a writer, editor, author, and problem-solver. My goal is to share information, ideas, and resources to help you overcome obstacles, reach your goals, and get more joy out of life, even when things are messy. Thanks for joining me. (If you got this from a friend, subscribe here: Bloom Anywhere.) I'd love your feedback and suggestions for future topics. Please send me an email: connect@bloomanywhere.com.
My take on mystical or mysterious things is that I’m about 40% “woo-woo.” In other words, I default to facts and proof, but I can also accept that there are matters that we, collectively, do not understand. I’m mostly okay with that and believe that science and human evolution will continue to answer big questions. In other words, we’re like a first-year college student whose long-term goal is to earn a doctorate.
So, when I discovered the work of the recently deceased James Doty—specifically, Into the Magic Shop and Mind Magic—I found it satisfying. In his work, Doty, a neurosurgeon, describes the physiological and scientific aspects of “manifesting.” He doesn’t buy into the co-opted version of “prosperity gospel” that some spiritual leaders teach—behave in certain ways and a Higher Power will basically grant your wishes—or the Law of Attraction, which advises adherents to maintain unrealistic (and, probably, unhealthy) levels of positive thought to attract their wishes like iron to a magnet.
Find your focus
Instead, Doty explains how focused attention can put us more in tune with what we want and help shape the opportunities we see and the way we behave to make us more likely to move toward those goals. It’s like when you’re shopping for a grey Honda and, suddenly, you can’t believe how many of them you spot on the road. Recently, my friend, the writer Monica Bhide, reminded me of the importance of being aware of our ascending reticular activating system—the brain system responsible for wakefulness and which filters the information deemed worthy enough to process and to ensure that I wasn’t marinating in negativity that wasn’t true. (That last part is important and helps ground us against toxic positivity.)
That’s a long lead-up to why I believe affirmations can be useful—not in the “say it and it will come” way, but in the “remind yourself who are and what you want” way. After all, when you set your focus, energy, and effort to accomplish something, you will experience change. (Doty also emphasizes the importance of detaching from the outcome—which is a topic for another newsletter.)
The power of words
For me, setting affirmations can be complicated. In addition to being prone to chronically overthinking—well, just about everything—I believe, as a writer, in the importance of language precision. The phrase “be careful what you wish for” rings in my head when I try to set them. I mean, it’s one thing to write, “I am happy, loved, and confident” or “My swimming is getting better every day” on a Post-It Note and stick it to the bathroom mirror. But some affirmations are more declarative. A few years ago, a friend shared with me one of hers: Take from my path that which does not serve me. And, in that recent phone conversation, when Monica was giving me a pep talk, she suggested one for me: Show me how much better it can get.
Immediately, my inner protector piped up: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What, now? How much better it can get? What will that look like? What will have to change? Do I want that? Will it hurt?
Monica told me this was a powerful affirmation that worked for her when she was going through difficult times. But it also required some letting go of what is in anticipation (and trust) that everything would work out even better.
I’ve been thinking about that affirmation since she shared it with me. Don’t we all hope things get better—even when they’re pretty darn good? Of course. What’s so scary about wanting things to get better?
Of course, the answer is change. What will be different? Am I ready for that? Maybe it's time to put this affirmation into my rotation.
What's your approach to affirmations?
Do you use affirmations, and what kind? If so, how do they help you? I’d love to hear about your experiences to possibly share in a future newsletter. Reach out at connect@bloomanywhere.com.
Bloom Drops
Things I want to share with you.
Retreating: I’m at a writers retreat this week. It’s giving me space to work on a project close to my heart, so I’m grateful. There are plenty of directories of retreats out there, but if you’re interested in creating one on your own, I wrote about why it’s a good idea to do so.
Connecting: Social isolation can be bad for us when it is unwanted. If you know an older adult who needs more connection, share information about AARP’s Friendly Voice, which schedules weekly calls with a trained volunteer. It’s easy to sign up. I wrote this story about how it helps both the call recipients and the callers themselves.
