Moments of Connection May Be Waiting Anywhere

Hi. Welcome to Bloom Anywhere. I'm Gwen Moran, a writer, editor, author, and problem-solver. My goal is to share information, ideas, and resources to help you overcome obstacles, reach your goals, and find more joy in life, even when things are messy. Thanks for joining me. (If you got this from a friend, subscribe here.) I'd love your feedback and suggestions for future topics. Please send me an email: connect@bloomanywhere.com.

Anyone who knows me knows that I like to talk to people. And by “talk to people,” I don’t mean chit-chat about the weather. When I’m in a place and there is a person near me who shows an interest in having a real conversation, unless they’re wearing a Michael Myers mask or have visible bloodstains on their attire, I’m usually all in.

Perhaps it comes from decades of being a journalist who is comfortable asking nosy questions, or maybe I just have one of those trustworthy faces, but people tend to tell me things. Family secrets. Moments of personal shame. Fears. Happy memories. I hold space for those because, really, who doesn’t have all of them? Just like a good journalist, I’m discreet and good at keeping others’ confidence.

But mostly, I love the connection. There is a whole, brand-new-to-me, miracle of a person standing there! I want to know so many things. What makes them tick? What do we have in common? What can I learn from them? Extroverts recharge through connection—and I’m a highly extroverted person who works from home alone. So, for me, a heart-to-heart is like a power cord taking me to 100%.

The Listening Storyteller

If they’re with me during one of these encounters, my husband and daughter typically walk away at this point because we might be here for a while. Sometimes, if I’m at lunch with a more introverted soul, they’ll sigh patiently while I ask the server where they’re from and which item is their favorite on the menu, with follow-up questions about how they manage that food allergy or juggling their course load with such a busy job.

While a certain insurance company’s commercials mock getting too friendly with folks who work behind the wheel or counter, I’d argue that sharing stories is how we defeat loneliness and social isolation. Recently, I had a chat with a Dunkin’ manager who served me my morning coffee. During our rambling conversation, he told me about the time he lived in Palm Springs and why he loved it and yearns to go back. There was the Disney taxi driver from Haiti who worried, in 2017, that the government was going to end his Temporary Protected Status. He had been here for nearly two decades, working multiple jobs. He had two daughters—a college freshman and a high school senior—and was riddled with anxiety about what would happen to them if he had to go back. I think about him and his family often.

There was a woman I met this weekend on an out-of-state trip who told me about her beach house in the next town over from me and how much she and her family loved the memories they made there. Another woman who told me in a hushed tone that she was worried that her recent cancer surgery might not have been successful. The fishmonger who used to be a successful drummer but married later in life and loves his wife so much that he switched careers to spend more time at home with her.

We may yell at the person in the car ahead of us or feel irritated at the cashier who’s moving too slow. But when we come face to face with their humanity, we see that most of us are filled with love, fear, longing, joy, hope, and myriad other emotions. I couldn’t tell you the last—or, in some cases, the first—name of any of these folks, but I remember their expressions and emotions. I carry those with me. After all, sometimes, it’s just easier to share your stories with a stranger.

The Value of Being Heard

Of course, there are many people who aren’t interested in speaking to anyone they don’t know, often for very good reasons. And that is to be respected. What I find more often, however, is that we all want a space to be heard. When there is someone who is not only willing to listen to our stories, but interested in them, we feel validated and valued. And those are no small things.

How do you find connection in a disconnected world? I’d love to hear your thoughts: connect@bloomanywhere.com.