On Second Chances, Redemption, and Ticking Clocks

Hi. Welcome to Bloom Anywhere. I'm Gwen Moran, a writer, editor, author, and problem-solver. My goal is to share information, ideas, and resources to help you overcome obstacles, reach your goals, and get more joy out of life, even when things are messy. Thanks for joining me. (If you got this from a friend, subscribe here: Bloom Anywhere.) I'd love your feedback and suggestions for future topics. Please send me an email: connect@bloomanywhere.com.

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If you had a chance to do over something in your life, would you take it?

Mitch Albom, the bestselling author of Tuesdays with Morrie and other books, spoke at a nearby community theater last week. I went with two friends to hear him discuss and read from his new novel, Twice. The book’s protagonist is a young boy who has the ability to go back in time and get second chance at almost whenever he wishes. If he regrets something or makes a mistake, he can go back and give it another shot.

There are two caveats: He has to live with whatever the second outcome is—there’s no going back to Option A—and there are no do-overs with romantic love.

Would You Take Another Shot?

We all have moments in our lives when we made mistakes or could have handled something better. Having a chance to try again and maybe do it better sure is tempting, especially if we got to go back with the benefits we gain from hindsight, experience, and time.

Yet, much of our wisdom and the ability to analyze comes from the very moments we would seek to rectify: The humility we gain from enduring the consequences of a big screw-up. The empathy we gain from living through a very hard time and understanding the weight of a struggle. The focus and care we practice when we're in the midst of an important discussion.

Would we lose a part of who we are if we smoothed over the rough patches and avoided the pain? Then, there’s the possibility that a do-over could make things infinitely worse.

Many Minutes on a Ticking Clock

The premise of Twice may seem far-fetched, but Albom posited that we all have opportunities for do-overs every day. Each year holds 525,600 minutes; that’s 525,600 chances to do things better or make things right. It’s possible to use those minutes to change some things—delivering an apology owed, being better with money, or changing a bad habit, for example. At the same time, we can’t go back in time to change things. We must work from the next moment forward.

For some, as the value of time has become far more precious—those who closer to the end of their lives than the beginning or who manage serious or chronic illness and need to be judicious in how energy is spent, for example—that leads to a grand conundrum: Every moment we spend thinking about what we should have done better or trying to redo what is already done is a precious moment that we’re not moving forward, blooming, or relishing the time we have left. At the same time, if we don’t use our hard-won wisdom and experience to examine our lives, make amends, and change things for the better, we risk becoming stuck in a relentless cycle of repeated mistakes and pain. We all need to find the ratio of introspection versus letting go that makes sense for us.

Don't Miss the Gifts

Then there’s another point: Albom’s talk was framed around his own life. He said that, when he was young, his plan was to become a rock star, marry someone like Raquel Welch (with a couple of backup options in the women who starred in “Gilligan’s Island”), and have a bunch of kids.

However, life doesn’t always work out the way we plan. None of those things happened the way he thought they would, but he did go on to have a highly successful career, often on stage entertaining others. He married a woman he loves, and they’re still together 37 years later. And he did, in the most unexpected ways, become a father.

Sometimes, every wish does come true in spite of—or because of—the mistakes and missteps. They just might not look the way we imagined they would. If we’re not careful, we risk not recognizing them—even when they’re right in front of us.

Would you go back for a do-over? Would you worry about the unintended consequences or what you might lose? I’d love to hear what you think: connect@bloomanywhere.com.

Bloom Drops

Things I want to share with you.

Visiting Broadway: I’ve been longing to see a Broadway show lately, but they have gotten so darn expensive. As I was looking at tickets, I was reminded of a couple of resources that are good for same-day ticket discounts: TKTS is a ticket sales booth—one located in Times Square and the other at Lincoln Center—that offers deep discounts on same-day shows and some others. TodayTix also lets you book last-minute tickets to shows at a discount.

Watching: I just finished watching “Task,” the HBO series starring the amazing Mark Ruffalo and Thomas Pelphrey, who grew up in the same Jersey shore town I did. If you like crime dramas, this is a good one from the creators of “Mare of Eastown.” Thumbs up.