Faith, Spirituality, and the Complicated Business of Religious Practice

Hi. Welcome to Bloom Anywhere. I'm Gwen Moran, a writer, editor, author, and problem-solver. My goal is to share information, ideas, and resources to help you overcome obstacles, reach your goals, and find more joy in life, even when things are messy. Thanks for joining me. (If you got this from a friend, subscribe here: Bloom Anywhere.) I'd love your feedback and suggestions for future topics. Please send me an email: connect@bloomanywhere.com.

When I was a child, attending religious services was one of my least favorite parts of the week. The process of wrangling six people, four of them children, to be awake, clean, dressed, and loaded into a car to arrive at the church on time was chaotic and often involved screaming and, occasionally, threats. Our family typically sat near the front of the congregation, so being late was not an option. Homilies were often of the “fire and brimstone” ilk. I wasn’t permitted to play on my school basketball team because practice conflicted with religious education classes. (Although my love of the game, especially college hoops, endures.)
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In adulthood, I struggled with some of my faith's teachings and the actions of its leaders. Sitting in the pews and reciting those long-ago memorized prayers became more difficult. I felt like a hypocrite and often left services angry, as if it were an affront to the very Being I was trying to honor. So, I stopped practicing any kind of organized religion. My beliefs about my Higher Power didn’t change, but I did miss the rituals and community through which I had always felt connected to the divine. I described myself as “spiritual, but not religious,” which didn’t feel exactly true, but was close enough.

A Matter of Faith

The connection with something greater than ourselves, in all its forms, can be good for us. There is a body of research indicating that spirituality—defined by the International Consensus Conference on Spiritual Care in Health Care as “the way individuals seek ultimate meaning, purpose, connection, value, or transcendence”—can have an important impact on our lives and health.

Spirituality, either as a belief system or religious practice, can also play an important role in our resilience, which is bolstered when we have varied sources from which to draw identity, support, and strength. People who find meaning through faith, family, community, or nature often have better healthcare outcomes. Those who regularly attend religious services seem to live longer, regardless of faith. People who are active in religious congregations are often happier and more civically engaged, too, according to Pew Research Center. (They’re not just for religious folks: I know people who are agnostic, humanist, atheist, and others who attend religious services.)

It makes sense: Faith communities give us connection, fellowship, and community, all of which we know are important to health and well-being. These communities often have philanthropic or community-focused efforts—and such volunteerism has several positive health benefits. They may foster optimism, which can be another indicator for health and satisfaction in life.

At the same time, humans have often taken the teachings of the world’s religions—which are often rooted in love, acceptance, care, and self-actualization—and used them as platforms for division. The lessons become twisted, and the result looks a lot like the chaos of my youth worship experience and the hypocrisy of my early adult years.

A Message of Hope

It took me decades to find a spiritual community that felt like a fit. Two years ago, I began attending services at a church a few towns away after hearing about its culture and work. In addition to being open and welcoming, it has an affiliated nonprofit that helps people get the food, housing, and equity they need. It runs a warming center for unhoused people and provides help for people in the community.

I can’t say I’m there every week—my caregiving responsibilities, health, and other challenges get in the way. (Plus, there’s still some baffling residual resistance based on my earlier experiences.) But whenever I am there, I am warmly welcomed and feel like I’m in a home of like-minded people who are all working to leave the world a little better than we found it.

This week, our pastor shared an uplifting and affirming letter from 154 Episcopal bishops about the state of the world. These leaders rejected what’s happening in Minnesota and in communities around the U.S. as “counter to God’s vision of justice and peace.” It called for people to stand in their values. In that spirit, following is the end of that letter, which I hope will resonate with you as it did with me:

Choosing Hope

The question before us is simple and urgent: Whose dignity matters?

Our faith gives a clear answer: everyone’s.

Safety built on fear is an illusion. True safety comes when we replace fear with compassion, violence with justice, and unchecked power with accountability. That’s the vision our faith calls us to live out—and the promise our country is meant to uphold.

In the face of fear, we choose hope.

By the grace of God, may this season of grief become a season of renewal. May courage rise from lament, and love take root in every heart.

Whether you consider yourself religious, spiritual, agnostic, atheist, or something else, I hope we can all work toward a world in which compassion wins over fear and justice over violence. I hope we can agree that all human beings have dignity and deserve fairness and a chance at a better life, regardless of their circumstances.

How Do You Find Spiritual Connection?

Do you have a church, synagogue, mosque, temple, or other place of religious practice? Do you find your connection in nature or through a practice like yoga? I'd love to hear about your spiritual life: connect@bloomanywhere.com.

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Bloom Drops

Things I want to share with you.

Finding community: What do you do when you feel lonely? It’s a tough question. If you have school-aged children, sometimes, you find a de facto friend group among parents of their friends. But, often after the kids go their separate ways, so do the parents. You may still see them from time to time, but it’s like living in a college dorm room: proximity can make fast friendships that are hard to hold onto once everyone’s lives take different directions. Here are a few resources if you’re feeling lonely.

I’ve just picked up This is Where You Belong: The Art and Science of Finding Home Wherever You Are by my writer friend Melody Warnick. It’s filled with advice on finding community, whether you’re new to a place or seeking to make new friends. I know a few folks who have found people with similar interests through Meetup. It’s a paid service (with a free trial), but I have found that many events are public, so if you search for Meetup + [Location] + [Interest], you may find a few without paying for the subscription. Facebook also has groups and event announcements. My church has given me a community and some new friends. So has taking up swimming. A dozen years ago, I created a book club and also belong to a writer’s group. Find or create your own spaces to connect.