An Action Plan for the Overwhelmed

Hi. Welcome to Bloom Anywhere. I'm Gwen Moran, a writer, editor, author, and problem-solver. My goal is to share information, ideas, and resources to help you overcome obstacles, reach your goals, and get more joy out of life, even when things are messy. Thanks for joining me. (If you got this from a friend, subscribe here: Bloom Anywhere.) I'd love your feedback and suggestions for future topics. Send me an email: connect@bloomanywhere.com.

Sometimes, life’s onslaught can feel insurmountable. Job loss. Financial pressures. Relationship issues. Illness. Current events. All or some of the above.

Being immersed in such stressful situations can stir up emotions like fear, anger, sadness, and others. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and helpless, especially if it feels like the issue and outcome are beyond your control.

Lately, I feel like a walking contradiction. I deeply believe in people and their potential for goodness and greatness. I believe that we can almost always do something to make life better. At the same time, I toggle between fury and fear about a range of specific issues, like how my business will fare if recession hits, health concerns, human rights violations, and violence in the world. The negative emotions sometimes feel stronger than the positive ones, affecting my ability to focus and be present.

When the latter forces are winning, I try to revisit the tools I’ve developed over the years through personal experiences and the input of some of the experts I’ve talked to. I hope they help you.

Stop the Swirl and Get Grounded

First, I find it important to get specific about my feelings and why. It’s easy for one or two fears to find each other and start hanging out, then loop in every other low-stakes annoyance and worry I’m feeling. That snowball effect is a quick, downhill run into helplessness, overwhelm, and even depression. Instead, I try to ask myself:

• What’s really bothering me?
• Why am I so upset about it? (Sometimes, the answer to this question is obvious; other times, it’s revealing)
• Is it real, or am I catastrophizing?
• Is there anything I can do to stop it?
• Is there anything I can do to feel better about it?

Naming the issues and getting curious about them, often through writing or talking them out (as extroverts often like to do) helps me quiet the chorus of worries and focus on the main problems that are causing me pain. There is a pile of research about how journaling can help mental health and problem-solving abilities. And having a circle of trusted people who can give you what you need in the moment as you voice your feelings and fears—whether it’s advice, humor, or just being heard—can be invaluable.

Focus on What You Can Control

In the hilarious and poignant HBO series, Somebody Somewhere, the character Fred Rococo (Murray Hill) tells protagonist Sam (Bridget Everett) to “control the controllables.” This resilience concept means focusing on what you can do about what’s going on.

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Controllables vary depending on the situation. For example, when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, my controllables included finding the best medical care to which I had access and also planning for the days when I’d need help during treatments. When I felt helpless as I saw cuts in programs that help poor and working-class people with basic needs, I amped up my volunteering, donated to related causes, and organized a supply bag drive for unhoused people served by my church. During the Great Recession, when I feared for my livelihood and saw our household income drop, I sought advice from financial professionals. I participated in an accountability group focused on marketing and new business activities.

Did these actions solve everything? Not even close. Did they give me a better place to shift my focus while also helping me feel like I was doing something other than fretting and floating toward some doomsday scenario? Absolutely. In each case, these actions made me feel less alone and also made a difference in the circumstances to varying degrees.

Stop Feeding the Fear

Be mindful as you shift your focus and search for resources and information about the challenges. Doomscrolling (guilty) and screaming into the void on social media or elsewhere can feel like staying informed and speaking out, but it’s probably hurting you more than it’s helping. What’s better?

• Find a healthy group of like-minded people who gather in person or online (not one mired in negativity or worst-case scenarios).
• Limit your information intake to the “boring”—only unbiased, reputable sources, not screaming headlines or horror stories (this is especially important if you’re going through a health crisis).
• Send $5 (or whatever makes sense for you) to a cause that’s helping.
• Share informative social media content about the issue from reputable organizations.
• Write a letter to the editor or your elected representatives to help address the issue, support a cause, or otherwise act.

That’s not to say you should dive into toxic positivity. But taking in overwrought, negative content isn’t going to help you now. Give yourself a break. I’ve also compiled some resources on Bloom Anywhere for various life situations as a place to start.

Find Your Release Valve

We all have those practices that help us decompress. And while opening up a bottle of wine or a pint of ice cream may seem like an immediate fix, now is the time to find the things that give you relief in healthier and more sustainable ways.

For some folks, that’s meditation. For others, it’s a long walk or run. There is even evidence that watching cat videos can be good for you if that’s your thing. For me, swimming and gathering with friends help me let go of stress and remember the good things in my life.

What are the things that give you relief from life’s stressors? A good laugh? A good cry? Exercising? It’s time to make more time for them—especially if it feels like you have no time for them.

For many, it’s not an easy time now, and you may be facing stressors you feel others don’t understand. Be good to yourself and try to surround yourself with others who are good to you, too.

Bloom Drops

Bits of everything I want to share with you.

Living history: If you’re a fan of Apple TV’s Severance, the historic building that is home to Lumon Industries is actually Bell Works, the former Bell Labs building in Holmdel, New Jersey. The building was designed by architect Eero Saarinen, who also designed the St. Louis Arch, and is a mixed-use commercial, retail, and event space. The building has been getting lots of attention lately because of the series, driving more interest. It’s heartening to see the place where laser, transistor, and countless other technological innovations were developed and thriving. Too often, we lose such historic places to condo developments.

Bridging: I’m trying to adapt to our current environment by cultivating my curiosity. When something stirs my emotions for better or worse, I look into it further to determine if it’s true before I form an opinion. In this practice, I’ve become a big fan of journalist, activist, and “bridge-builder” Mónica Guzmán, author of I Never Thought of It That Way: How to Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times. Check out her TED talk: “How Curiosity Will Save Us.”​

Reading: The 200,000^th Little Free Library has been built. These local book exchanges allow anyone to take or leave a book. Through them, 400 million books have been distributed in more than 128 countries, promoting literacy and removing barriers to book access. Interested in creating one in your community? Start here.