Change Can Be the Best Thing That Ever Happened If You Let It

Hi. Welcome to Bloom Anywhere. I'm Gwen Moran, a writer, editor, author, and problem-solver. My goal is to share information, ideas, and resources to help you overcome obstacles, reach your goals, and get more joy out of life, even when things are messy. Thanks for joining me. (If you got this from a friend, subscribe here: Bloom Anywhere.) I'd love your feedback and suggestions for future topics. Please send me an email: connect@bloomanywhere.com.

Recently, I saw a social media post that made me so sad. It was in a group for parents of college-age and older children. The woman posting was sending her last child off to college and was bereft, questioning her purpose in life after being a full-time mom and CEO of her household for more than two decades.

“You are living the dream,” I thought.

I remember having a similar conversation when my daughter was in her junior year of high school. I was at dinner with another mom I didn’t know well, who had a child the same age. We were both kind of in the same boat, watching the collegiate years barreling toward us—I would be sending off my one and only, and she would be sending off the youngest of her children. But she was taking the transition hard.

“I’m dreading it,” she said. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

I knew I’d miss my daughter, but I was also looking forward to a new era. As there was less demand for my mom role, I envisioned having more time for my business, personal projects, and, frankly, myself. As I looked at this mom, on the verge of despair, I felt compassion.

“Well, what do you want to do?” I asked.

She looked at me, almost startled. It was as if she had never even considered the question.

When You Get to Choose What's Next

I don’t mean to sound insensitive—I’m not at all. It is H-A-R-D when those kiddos go off and live somewhere else. But, for many, big life changes are often more abrupt. A diagnosis after a routine doctor’s visit. Unexpected legal documents from someone you love. Loss—in any of its forms—that happens when you least expect it. Big changes often don’t give you years to prepare. And if you have options and resources. Well, that’s a recipe for a wonderful next act.

I think of these types of changes like I would a business plan. It starts with an idea. Maybe it’s a half-baked idea, and you have no idea how it will happen, but that’s where your planning process begins.

If you have no idea where to start, there are some questions that can get you there.

1. What do I love to spend time doing?
2. What am I really good at?
3. What do people typically ask of me or ask for from me?
4. What have I always wanted to do?
5. What makes me feel fulfilled?

Don’t treat these questions as something you must answer on the spot. Think about them for a while. You might even write about them a few times. Try journal prompts like:

The day I had the most fun was:

The thing I love to do most is:

My favorite activity is:

Delve into what you love to do, how it makes you feel—and why.

Let Your Imagination Off Its Leash

I’m not saying that you can wish your next act into existence. I don’t believe that. But you can start to get ideas by letting your mind wander. So, for example:

If you love dogs, you may be able to volunteer or look for a job at an animal shelter or rescue, become a pet photographer, go back to school to work in veterinary medicine, become a dog walker, train your own dog to be a therapy dog, blog or write a Substack about dogs or dog-friendly destinations, draw pictures of other people’s dogs, or any one of myriad other ways to show your love of dogs.

Have you always been fascinated by technology? Take some coding classes, learn how to build an app, volunteer to teach older adults how to use various tech, join a maker space or hackathon, start a YouTube channel sharing what you know, or look for opportunities to beta test new apps and software programs.

Within every interest, vocation, or avocation, there are many opportunities to work, volunteer, or share. While some may require additional schooling or training, chances are that you can find some way to exercise your interests that is accessible to you. You may even turn it into a new career.

In an upcoming newsletter, I’ll explain how you can take such ideas and map a plan to get there using the same steps you would for a business plan. But, in the meantime, dream as big as you can about what you want next in your life.

Have You Undergone a Reinvention?

If you’ve transformed your career or some other part of your life, I’d love to hear about it. How did you decide what you wanted to do? What did you do to make it happen—and what obstacles did you have to overcome? Send me your stories: connect@bloomanywhere.com. I’d love to share some in a future newsletter.

Bloom Drops

Things I want to share with you.

Learning: There are thousands of free courses that you can take to teach yourself a wide range of topics. Platforms like edX and Coursera have lists of free courses, some from top schools like Stanford University and those in the Ivy League. Got an interest? Sign up for a class.

More learning: Here’s another great reason to have a library card: the Libby app. With the app, you can borrow millions of books and e-books for free.

And still more learning: Immerse yourself in art, history, science, or other interests by visiting the museums in your community or state. Many museums offer free admission days or may offer discounts or free admission if you’re a part of a military family, student, or if you have a Bank of America credit card.